Author: John Kralik
Publisher:Hyperion Books – 228 pages
Book Review by: Laxmi Chaandi
This is a highly inspiring book that reminds me of the universal law of balance in nature that applies to human relationships as well – that there can be no giving without receiving, or vice versa, just as there can be no right without a wrong.
I believe that giving without the expectation of receiving is the only attitude one must have in life on this subject, whether those acts involve material gifts or simple “Thank Yous” – thoughts expressed in a note, which are at once both intangible and tangible.
John Kralik, a 52-year-old attorney and about 40 pounds overweight, relates to us in this beautifully-worded handy book, written from his heart, how sending “Thank You” notes dramatically and almost magically transformed his life when he had sunk to such a low point that he wondered whether dying might have been better than continuing to live.
He writes: “As the year progressed, there had been days when I was so preoccupied with my problems that I walked into the street without checking for a WALK sign. When a car missed me with a honk of the horn, I wondered whether everything might have worked out better had I been hit.”
His nadir – the lowest day in his life – came on December 22, 2007. His law firm had not only lost money, lost clients, but was also about to lose its lease. He was going through a painful divorce and had no separation agreement with his wife, including on the custody of their young daughter. About his upcoming second divorce, he writes “I stood to lose most of what I had earned since my first divorce.”
Meanwhile he had started a relationship with a beautiful 33-year-old woman. But that had become strained as well. With his offer one day to her to spend some time together to exchange gifts, she brusquely told him: “I do not want a Christmas present from you,” broke off with him, and left. Then, this word kept ringing in his head: loser.
His grown-up sons from his first marriage had grown distant and were not in touch with him. While his elder one – who had had occasional cash crises – had finally become self-sufficient, his younger son still required help with his tuition, rent, car payment, car insurance, parking, moving violations, even food. But the author’s savings were totally exhausted. He had run completely out of money. And he was living in a small apartment where he “often slept on the floor under an ancient air-conditioner.”
During a lonely hike up a mountain – which was originally planned to be along with his now ex-girlfriend, John Kralik lost his way. But after some effort, he found some trails going down. He paused to take a rest, sitting on the remnants of a concrete slab of an old, defunct hotel. It was at this time of introspection that he remembered his grandfather, a World War I veteran and a successful real estate agent, insurance broker and stock market investor. He also recalled that when he was about five years old, he got a silver dollar from his grandfather. But along with this gift which seemed to young John “an impossibly large sum of money in a shiny, mysterious package” he got also a message. His grandfather promised him that if he wrote a letter thanking him for the silver dollar, he would send him another one.
John writes: “that was the way thank-you letters worked, he told me.” He got a second silver dollar and now he had two silver dollars. But he did not send a second thank-you note for his second silver dollar. “Having experienced the truth of this principle, however, I failed to learn it.”
That lesson from his grandfather on what must be done when you receive a gift was becoming clearer in his mind. It was then that John decided he was going to write a thank-you to people on each and every day of the New Year – 2008. It was difficult at first to think of who to thank and for what, but he took the first step, then the second, then it became a daily habit.
One of the unexpected items John found in his New Year’s mail was a manila envelope. Opening it, he found a handwritten letter from the woman who had broken off with him on December 22nd. The two had somehow managed to spend some time on Christmas Eve. He had presented her a watch and she had given me a bottle of cologne. In that manila envelope was a thank-you note from her to him.
Out of utter despair having sunk into an abyss from which John had difficulty trying to figure out how to emerge from it, John was determined to turn his life around. The weapon, if you will, he had decided to employ in this battle, was a series of simple thank-you notes for all of the 365 days of 2008.
He received other things in his mailbox. One of them was a coffee maker from his elder son, who knew that his dad was a “notorious caffeine freak.” So John wrote his first thank-you note for the year – to his son- and he ended it with “See you soon, Dad.”
Soon thereafter, father and son met for lunch. After ordering and some small talk, his son handed him a letter-size envelope that was bulging. Looking inside, he saw a wad of crisp one-hundred-dollars. Forty of them. “It’s for the loan,” his son told him. Although he remembered he had loaned his son money, he had not kept track of the amount. The son also picked up the tab for lunch.
After that, they gabbed about what was going on in each other’s lives and got up to date on significant and meaningful full events. A resumed relationship had begun.
This is a heartwarming book written very well by someone who had also at times in his past, wanted to become a writer but life sort of got in his way. But he has now fulfilled that desire and you and I are the richer for it. This book holds a critically important message delivered very effectively by John Kralik, adding value to you. Go get the book and enrich your life now.
